It’s popular to read interviews and books with advice from highly successful people. But is their advice good advice? Perhaps it works for their situation, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it generalizes to other circumstances. Maybe they are just overfitting to their personal life experience. Perhaps they are attributing too much of their success to the actions they happened to take rather than to factors outside of their control. And what should we make of the fact that advice often contradicts other advice?
One way to cut through the noise is to look at the commonalities between the advice that many different highly successful people give (i.e., take the “intersection”), letting the noise and contradictions drop away. If many of them provide the same advice, we can be at least somewhat more confident that it generalizes. Having said that, we should nevertheless remain mindful of selection effects (affecting who we hear advice from), including survivorship bias.
With that in mind, here’s my attempt to “intersect” the repeated advice I’ve read or heard from many different highly successful people who come from a wide range of fields and life circumstances. I expand on each piece of advice by listing common themes I’ve heard around that advice (that I also largely agree with), and then I give a relevant quote.
Ten Repeated Pieces of Advice From Highly Successful People
1. You won’t automatically be happy when you reach your goals.
Achieving goals breeds new ones.
A terrible situation creates misery, but a good situation doesn’t imply you’ll be happy. Happiness takes inner work, and it benefits a lot from gratitude for whatever it is you already have. The good life is a journey, not a destination.
Quote: “Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.” – Denis Waitley
2. High levels of accomplishment almost always require hard work over a long time. “Overnight successes” are rare and are often misidentified. If you look closely, usually, the person was practicing for 5-20 years before they were an “overnight success.”
Always be looking for how you can do your work better, and focus on improving in those areas. Compounding improvement over a long period is how people become great at things.
Quote: “I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.” – Thomas Jefferson
3. Life is unpredictable. When young, people usually don’t know what they’re going to “do with their life.” That’s fine!
Life takes crazy, unexpected twists and turns. Plans are great, but you should expect to modify them. Be adaptable and on the lookout for great, unexpected opportunities.
Quote: “Sometimes, when you go looking for what you want, you run right into what you need.” – Wally Lamb
4. Don’t let fear stop you. Attempting hard things will bring stress, fear, and anxiety.
If you avoid what you fear (more than is warranted by the level of danger), your potential will be curtailed. Learn to push through your fears to do stressful things that are valuable.
Quote: “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anaïs Nin
5. Choose who you spend time with wisely. Be thoughtful about who you are friends with, whether you spend enough quality time with your loved ones, etc.
Spending time with the wrong people will waste time or even sap potential. Make enough time for the people that matter most to you.
Quote: “You Are The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With” – Jim Rohn
6. Learn to say no. People will ask you many things from you. If you always say “yes,” it will drain energy & focus.
Say “yes” to your loved ones and to requests that are aligned with your deepest values. For others, consider if you realistically have the bandwidth to handle the request without taking away from your most important priorities. If not, give an authentic “no.”
When you’re starting out, it makes sense to say “yes” to more things. The more successful you become, the better you have to get at saying “no” – otherwise, your life will be dictated by other people’s demands.
Make choices based on your own values rather than based on what pleases or impresses others. Be your authentic self.
Quote: “Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.” – Josh Billings
7. Take care of your body. Exercise regularly, reduce sugar intake, eat healthy foods that make you feel good, make enough time for sleep, and avoid excessive alcohol/drugs.
Good health has ripple effects and will help you achieve your goals. Your body impacts your mind.
Quote: “The groundwork for all happiness is good health.” – Leigh Hunt
8. Take care of your mind. Meditate regularly (or find another practice that refreshes and resets you). Sleep enough. Seek treatment for mental health challenges.
Get out of relationships where people mistreat you. Have compassion for yourself, and treat yourself with kindness.
Know your limits, and keep stress within those limits. Take some time just to relax and have fun with no obligations. Take vacations.
Quote: “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” -Jack Kornfield
9. Expect to fail many times. That’s normal and expected.
The key is to learn from every failure, pick yourself back up, and keep going. If you’re not willing to fail many times, you aren’t prepared to do hard things.
Quote: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison
10. Leverage habits. Figure out what daily pattern works for you.
Maybe it’s an hour of writing at 6 am, strong tea in the morning, a carefree walk in nature at noon, or jumping jacks in the early afternoon. Experiment to find what works well for you, and stick to it.
Quote: “First, forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not.” – Octavia Butler
This piece was first written on January 26, 2021, and first appeared on this site on October 14, 2022.
Comments