While some group conversations are great (e.g., with close friends), a lot of group conversations are boring, the lowest common denominator, or hijacked by one talkative person. How can you make group conversations more interesting?
Here’s what I’ve found to be useful:
1) Shrink the group
The best group conversations typically happen (I claim) in groups of 3 to 5. If your group is bigger than that, you can split it into smaller groups (e.g., by engaging with the people closest to you). With 7, it’s hard to get a word in or stay on any thread.
2) Introduce a topic
If the group seems to be bored, an easy way to steer the conversation is to wait for a lull and then say, “I’d be curious to hear what the people in this group think about…” and then raise a topic that’s likely to be very interesting and relevant to folks there.
3) Invite an exceptional conversationalist
Some people are very good at keeping everyone engaged. If you can, bring someone like that along who can make the discussions more interesting for everyone. Socially skilled extroverts who really care about others having fun are a good bet.
4) Leave out or inform the obliviously over-talkative
Some people talk a lot but don’t pay attention to whether others are interested (e.g., extroverts who are narcissistic or who lack strong social perception). Just one can ruin a large group conversation (even if they’re fine in other settings). When they are well-meaning and are likely to take the feedback well, you can point out this tendency and hope they improve. If they are unlikely to want to hear the feedback or unlikely to take it well, you could simply not invite them to events focused on group conversation.
5) Encourage interesting introverts
Some people have very interesting things to share but are quiet in group settings due to shyness or not wanting to draw attention to themselves. Involve them by asking for their perspective or directing questions to them (if you think they wouldn’t mind).
6) Keep things on track
Sometimes, a group conversation will be interesting, but then, suddenly, it gets derailed by someone’s stray comment that leads the group in a random direction. Consider jumping in to make a comment or ask a question related to the prior thread to return to the more interesting topic.
I hope some of these ideas help you improve your next group conversation or dinner party!
This piece was first written on November 3, 2024, and first appeared on my website on November 7, 2024.
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