What is Lightgassing? A way we harm people by validating their false beliefs

October 1, 2023

Gaslighting, where someone causes another person to doubt their sanity or senses, can cause psychological damage. There's an opposite thing, though, that can also be damaging. As far as I know, it has no name. I call it "lightgassing" (or "light gassing"). Here, I explain how lightgassing works. Lightgassing is when one person agrees with or validates another person's false beliefs or misconceptions in order to be supportive. Unlike gaslighting, a tactic of jerks and abusers,...

Eight ways you can validate someone’s emotions in a healthy way (and four strategies to avoid)

October 1, 2023

A lot of times, when people are upset, they want their friends and loved ones to "validate their feelings." I think there is a lot of confusion about what it really means to "validate feelings," and I also believe there are both healthy and unhealthy forms of doing this validation. Healthy vs. Unhealthy Emotional Validation I would say that the main difference between the healthy validation of emotions and the unhealthy version is that the healthy version is based on genuine c...

How can you help friends or family members who are struggling with a mental health challenge?

January 8, 2023

I've noticed that it's quite common for people to struggle to know what they should do to support friends or family members going through a mental health challenge, and it's also quite common to say counterproductive things in such situations. With the aim of helping you better help those people in your life who are struggling, here's a list of five things that are usually a *bad* idea to say to someone who is dealing with a mental health challenge, along with seven things it usually is ...

Ways to be a Better Friend

September 9, 2017

A list of simple ways you can be a better friend to the people you care about most (including close friends, family members, and romantic partners): INTERACTION - Avoid devices: don't use your phone when with your friends - Give focus: try to focus fully and completely on what your friend is telling you and, if you are momentarily distracted, return your full focus to your friend as soon as you notice that your attention has wandered - Rephrase for understanding: if your friend say...